Monica Elaina Kingsley’s wedding to Edwin Inbaraj S. on 25th January 2016 at Chennai is the perfectly cosy love story that budded from a warm friendship.
‘So the first time we met was when we were both working for Renault Nissan,’ says Monica. ‘I didn’t know him till about a month before he left the company. Our gang of friends used to hang out together so we also became good friends and I think he grew a liking towards me. And since he was my friend, I used to tell him everything that went on in my life, including the fact that my parents were looking for a suitable life partner for me.
I told him I had convinced myself to say yes to the current proposal my parents were interested in. On hearing this, he went and met my parents, and told them that he would like to marry me, but would only go ahead with the proposal with their permission and blessing. Only after his parents and mine had thought about it and agreed, did he ask me? And after a month, I said yes!’
Moving into the area of challenges during wedding planning, Monica says, ‘I think everybody starts building up an idea of how they would want their wedding to be as soon as the wedding is fixed. Most of us brides tend to focus on the grandness of the wedding day rather than life after marriage! So since that seemed really important to me, I had very specific ideas about what I wanted for the wedding and the reception.
Deciding on the final result was frustrating because every parent has different ideas of what they want for their children’s wedding. Coordinating that between the two sides seemed like a challenge, but it all turned out well because of my husband. He really voiced my opinion to his parents, and helped them understand why certain things were very important to me.’
Every bride has worries about how their outfit would turn out, and Monica was no different. ‘I had decided that I would wear a wedding gown for the service and go traditional for the reception. I was initially worried about how the dress would turn out. But thankfully, I got one of the best designers in Chennai’s fashion industry, and my dress turned out perfectly fine.
The reception hall and the stage decoration there was also a constant worry for me, even up to the evening before the wedding. In the end, though, everything worked out really beautifully.’
What does Monica think sets her wedding apart from others? ‘I truly consider my wedding a miracle. I could see the hand of God in every stage of the wedding. I’ve had some bad experiences and I had got to a stage of hopelessness, so finding a person like Edwin, who understands my true emotions and values my parents as much as I do was like finding every girl’s dream husband.
He feels like a member of my family, and not at all like someone who entered the family only a year ago. And the love and support of my friends too during those months of wedding planning was very touching. All my girlfriends threw me a surprise bridal shower the night before the wedding. We had so much fun, we didn’t sleep all night!’ she exclaims.
What would Monica like to tell other brides? ‘Never give your future spouse or their family a negative impression of your parents or anyone in your family before they even meet them and get to know them. Even if it’s just a temporary fight for you, that negative impression might taint even their first impression of them and they might never respect them.’ And all we future brides out here need to learn a thing or two from the mature and rational way Monica sees marriage.
‘Every bride has her own dreams, but what I would like to say is that you really need to think about marriage before planning your wedding. Take time to get to know your future spouse, and don’t rush into marriage before getting to know him. Even if he’s putting up a façade, a little bit of his true self will be revealed when you communicate with him. If you can put up with that little bit, you can put up with the rest. Don’t compromise on someone you will spend the rest of your life with.’
Monica treasures her wedding memories, but some precious emotional moments do stand out. ‘My wedding was a lovely event. Before we left for the wedding service from home, both my parents actually cried, though they tried to hide it from me. That was when I realised how much I loved them. Nobody can love us as unconditionally as our parents do. That moment was so emotional and sweet. And the other moment that I will always treasure was the time Edwin tied the thali around my neck.
Most brides cry at that moment because that’s when the realisation that we are married strikes us. It was an amazing moment for both of us. Looking at Edwin’s facial expression, I knew he felt the same way. We were confused, happy and in awe. That is the moment when you feel that you belong to somebody, that you’re a part of somebody.’
So this is the story of Monica & Edwin. Do you like this story? Tell us your views in the comment section.
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